Cynical Heart (Heart Series) Read online

  “You know how I do, Dell. Within a couple of hours, we found out where the money had gone and what Abe was up to. You will be able to go through with the merger now with no problems.”

  “I’m assuming that you will sit in on the negotiations?”

  “No, I think that once I’ve cleaned house, I’m going to take some much needed time off. Cab Howard knows everything. I’ll be sure to bring you up to speed and fill you in on the details before I leave, and then you can meet with Mr. Howard, but right now Dell, I seriously need to get away for a while.”

  Chapter 1

  Two months later

  Reclining in a lounge chair on the deck of her Bodega Bay home in California, Dana shook her head sadly, unable to get a firm grasp on her emotions. She had been there ever since she discovered her former fiancé Cliff in bed with another woman, and still struggled with just how big a fool she had been even though it happened over two months ago. Hell, she didn’t even love him, and yet, they had been together for five years; that had to count for something. She had met Clifton Davis when she was studying for her MBA in finance at Harvard, and soon after they had become study buddies, which turned to a genuine friendship. After graduation, Cliff wanted to take their relationship to the next level, so when they returned to California they both found jobs and moved into her condo. But while she moved up the corporate ladder, Cliff got layed off due to the slowing economy and couldn’t find work in his field. There was not a large demand for manufacturing engineers out there, so when she left her job to work with her brother in his consulting firm at nearly twice the pay, she felt that she made the right decision. She even tried to get Cliff a job there as well, but Dell made it clear that he did not want Cliff anywhere near him or his company, and advised her to get rid of him. Dell must have known something she didn’t because she didn’t get rid of him, but rather became engaged to him instead. Back then, she believed that her engagement to Cliff was mostly because she pitied him. She felt terrible that he couldn’t find work and she could not bear to see him out on the street. Closer to the truth however, was that his constant asking, begging, and pleading was getting on her nerves, so she relented to his demands simply to shut him up.

  Cliff was the first and only man she had been intimate with, and at the time she could honestly say that she didn’t know what all the fuss was all about. As far as she was concerned, her first encounter with sex was a complete waste of time, not to mention quite disappointing, and from that moment on she considered it a non-essential commodity, something she’d only engage in when she planned on having children. That was her official position and it was working quite well until the day she met Cabel Howard. Now that man sure knew how to make a girl lose all kinds of dignity and throw her inhibition right out the window. And just to prove that it was no fluke, he did it over and over and over again many times that night. The things he did… the things he made her do… a girl could definitely become addicted, and much to her surprise she found that she liked being submissive to his form of pleasure.

  She slowly closed her eyes and began to relive the way his hands felt as they caressed and molded her to his insatiable will. He took her on a ride to orgasmic paradise, and they revisited that place many times throughout the night. From the moment he stepped into the hotel suite, it was as if the two of them were of one mind. Lust exploded… clothing hastily discarded… both eager to feel the warmth of naked flesh entwined in a passionate embrace… the rest was history.

  She often wondered if Cab had any regrets about that night. She did once only because of her relationship with Cliff, but not anymore. Nowadays, all she could think about was Cab Howard: the way his eyes lightened when he laughed, those sexy slash dimples when he smiled, the sound of his deep, melodic voice… hell, she loved everything about him. So why haven’t you called him? Her mind wondered, prompting a reply.

  “Because you are afraid of what he thinks of you after your one night stand, especially after the way you suddenly took off without saying goodbye the next day,” she muttered aloud.

  Her other fear was that she knew Cab probably had women throwing themselves at his feet, and she didn’t want to wind up being just some groupie of his, one of a countless string of women that he melted just by the touch of his skillful hands. Although she was more than satisfied with what the two of them had shared, and the unbridled passion that she experienced while in his arms, the time had come for her to move on.

  She closed her eyes once more and relived that night in vivid Technicolor, something she seemed to be doing a lot of these past two months. She recalled the way they tore at each other clothes… how Cab’s sensual mouth kissed hers so thoroughly that she temporarily forgot who she is and where she was…

  Suddenly out of nowhere, a thought came to her that marred her once smooth brow with a sullen mope.

  “Oh My God!” She screamed before bolting upright into a sitting position.

  She could feel anxiety rising up to choke her as she suddenly realized that in their flurried frenzy of passion, they had forgotten to use protection. Swinging her bare feet onto the deck and standing up, she wrung her hands together frantically and began to pace back and forth.

  “O-okay Dana,” she said calmly. Trying to regulate the erratic pounding of her heart, she took a deep breath through her nose, exhaled slowly through her mouth, and stopped pacing. “Your last period was… dammit Dana think, think!”

  During her menstrual cycles, she suffered from just about every known ailment associated with that time of the month, PMS, cramps, bloating, you name it, and these ailments held to no set pattern. She could be bombarded by them all one month, or suffer nothing more than a little puffiness the next, but no matter how harsh or mild her periods were, one thing always remained constant. She was always regular… until now.

  “Did I have my period last month?” She wondered, sliding her fingers through her thick hair and holding her head as if she were trying to squeeze out the memory. She was sure she’d remember though. It would be hard for anybody to forget something that came around every month like clockwork just to make you miserable. She looked down and pressed her hands to her belly.

  “If there is someone in there, can you at least give a sister a heads up?”

  If she was pregnant, shouldn’t she be throwing up or showing some other kind of signs? She shook her head. It looks like the only way to know for sure was to get a pregnancy test, although there was still the possibility that she wasn’t pregnant at all, and just a little late due to the stress of Cliff’s treachery, not that she was all that upset about him being with another woman. What got her goat was that he had been using her for all these years. But enough thinking about Cliff. She decided to push him out of her mind, and instead focus on things far more significant and important. In order to do that though, first she needed to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she either was or was not pregnant.

  After making a trip to the pharmacy and stopping for a bite to eat, Dana returned with a pregnancy test, a hamburger, some fries, and vanilla milkshake from McDonalds. She didn’t know why she wanted fast food; she normally ate healthier than that, but for some reason or another she had a craving for it.

  “Is that all you got little person that may be inside of me? If it is, you have got to come a lot stronger than that to convince me that I’m going to be a mommy!”

  Dana laughed at herself, convinced that she had totally lost it. Not only was she holding regular conversations with herself, but she was also talking to someone who may or may not even be there. Placing the food on the table, she picked up the test and went into the bathroom.

  A pair of White Crowned sparrows flitted about in the shrubbery just outside the bathroom window looking for seeds, when a scream erupted that was so loud it rattled the window and sent the pair off to seek quieter confines elsewhere. Inside the bathroom, Dana stood in front of the vanity with both hands covering her mouth as she stared at the test strip and its confirmation of her biggest
fear. She was indeed pregnant. Stunned and in disbelief, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

  “Okay, okay,” she whispered. “You can handle this. All you have to do is go see your doctor, decide if you’re ready for this, tell the father of the baby what our one night of incredible pleasure has created, and decide if you’re ready for this… wait, I said that already.”

  She rose to her feet, staring at her reflection in the mirror, and suddenly started panting, unable to catch her breath.

  “Oh damn! Now I’m hyperventilating!”

  Taking a seat on the toilet, she lowered her head and took a deep, cleansing breath.

  “Okay Dana, okay Dana,” she repeated in a soft mantra, trying to regain her composure. “You are going to be a mommy and that’s that, so you might as well accept it right here, and right now.”

  Discarding the test in the wastebasket, she went into the kitchen and grabbed her now ice cold burger, her soggy fries, and her melted, watered-down shake. She sat down at the kitchen table and began eating, when her cellphone rang. Rising to her feet to get it from her purse, she looked at the caller ID and saw that it was her brother Dell. She immediately put him on speaker.

  “Hi Dell,” she greeted.

  “Hi Pud, how are you?”

  “I just discovered that I’m pregnant, but other than that, I’m just fine. How are you?” After a moment of dead silence coming from the other end, she looked at the phone to see if she had lost the connection. “Hello? Dell?”

  “What the hell do you mean you’re pregnant?!” Dell shouted into the phone, nearly rupturing her eardrum. “Who the hell is the father? And please don’t tell me it’s that damn Cliff! That’ll just give me another reason to kick his sorry ass!”

  Dana remained silent. She had learned a long, long time ago that before interrupting Dell when he was in the middle of one of his patented rants, it was best to let him vent first. It was a tried and true method that had served her well for many a year. He had been her guardian ever since she was twelve years old, and took up the responsibility for her care and upbringing right after their mother passed away. She’ll never forget the time when she slipped out of the house to go clubbing with her friends and they all tried to use fake ID’s that another friend in school had made for them. One of the ID’s looked nothing like one of her friends, which was kind of funny at the time, but the bouncer at the door checking ID’s didn’t think so. Long story short, they didn’t get into the club, and to make matters worse, instead of letting them go with a warning or giving them a light kick in the butt before sending them on their way, he made them stand there while he called the cops. They were taken down to the police station, and when Dell got there she would have sworn that he was the devil incarnate judging from the look on his face. He didn’t say anything as he dropped off her girlfriends, but when they got home, he sat her down and lectured her for over an hour before doling out a ridiculous punishment that was more in line with a solitarily confined imprisonment. When she interrupted him and tried to explain her side of the story, he added even more time. By the time he had finished, she had accrued a total of three months punishment, where all she could do was go to school and come home.

  Dell had always been overprotective, and that was part of the reason why she didn’t date much. Either the boys that she brought home were so enthralled with Delco ‘Rammin Stallions’ Whalen the linebacker that they paid no attention to her, or they were so intimated by Delco ‘Rammin Stallions’ Whalen the guardian that they were afraid to pay any attention to her. It got so bad that after a while, she gave up trying to have a boyfriend. Back then, she couldn’t win for losing, but things were different now. She was a thirty-year-old grown ass woman, and she didn’t have to take any more of Delco Whalen’s lectures.

  “Dana Whalen, do you hear me?” Dell shouted into the phone.

  “Damn it Delco I hear you!” She shouted back. “And if it’s any consolation, Cliff is not the father, okay?”

  “Well then who is it?”

  “Look Dell, I’m a grown woman. I only told you… well, I don’t know why I told you, but the fact of the matter is that I’m pregnant, and I’m going to have it, so deal with it!”

  “Answer the question Dana!”

  “I don’t remember…,” she replied sheepishly.

  “Damn it don’t play with me Dana!”

  Not appreciating his tone one bit, Dana responded angrily. “Look Delco, it was just a one night fling, and that’s all I’m telling you, so you can either support me or leave me the hell alone. I’m having a baby so deal with it!”

  There was a long moment of silence before Dana heard a loud sigh come through the phone, and right away she could feel the shame encompass her for talking so disrespectful to him.

  “I’m sorry Dell… I didn’t mean any of that,” she said remorsefully. “It’s just that this is a shock for me too.”

  Dell softened his tone as well. “I know Sweet Pea, and we will talk more about this when I return, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Now, the reason that I called is because I need you to attend Duke’s wedding in my place. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to get back from Italy until next week, and the wedding is this Saturday. Can you do it?”

  Dell’s question caught Dana a bit off guard. “Uh, uh… oh Dell why me?”

  “Because Dana, you are CFO of this company, and our company just merged with his company. As a show of respect, one of us has to be there!”

  Dana sighed. She was not ready to see Cab; she needed time to digest this new predicament and figure out if she even wanted him to know.

  “You do realize that Saturday is two days away, right?”

  “Sorry Pud for the short notice, but will you do it?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  Dell chuckled. “No not really, but for what it’s worth thanks for standing in for me. We’ll talk when I get back, okay? Oh, and Dana? We’ll figure this baby thing out together.”

  “I love you Dell,” she said, her mind somewhat put at ease by his reassuring words.

  “Me too Pud. See you next week.”

  Dana put down her cellphone and laid her head back on the sofa. Since she was going to be in Philly whether she wanted to be there or not, she reasoned that it would be a good opportunity to tell Cab that he was going to be a father, but the more she thought about it, the more uncertain she became about just how she would go about it.

  “Hello Cab? Do you remember that toe-curling sex we shared a couple of months ago? You do? Well, guess what? We made a baby!”

  Groaning heavily, Dana flopped down on the couch and threw her arm across her eyes. What was her problem? When it came to confrontations, she had never been a punk before, so why would she start that nonsense up now? All she had to do was go to him, tell him that she was pregnant, and boom. It really was just that simple, but first thing first. She would get herself accustomed to the fact that she would see Cab Howard sooner than she expected, and no longer put off the inevitable. Grabbing her cellphone, she immediately began making the arrangements that would take her to Philly to see the father of her child.

  Chapter 2

  As the five extraordinarily handsome groomsmen in chocolate brown tuxedos walked up the aisle and took their places at the altar, Cab scanned the chapel wishing that this would all be over soon. As much as he loved his brother and Cat, if it were up to him they would have went to a justice of the peace at city hall and he’d be somewhere else. "Yeah, like in LA," an inner voice echoed, but having no desire to dwell on that thought again, at least not right now anyway, Cab pushed it to the back of his mind.

  He continued to peruse the many unfamiliar faces in the room, and could see that Duke’s new in-laws knew a good number of people. He even recognized a few of the politicians that he occasionally saw on television who made a reputation for themselves by spouting lies to their conservative followers; seems like Cat's side of the aisle was overflowing with them. As far as
Cat goes, under normal circumstances Cab was sure that she wouldn’t go over too well with the Pittman’s elite circle of friends, but with the money, status, and influence that the Pittman’s held, he was sure that they would overlook the skeleton in the Pittman closet named Cat. He glanced at Duke's side of the chapel and could see that he invited a few clients, some business associates, and his staff from HWC; just enough to meagerly fill up his side.

  Cab continued his impromptu scan, not really looking at anyone in particular, when suddenly his eyes stopped moving. The woman whose memory had plagued his mind and body every day and night for the past two months was sitting at the end of the third row, and looking just as beautiful as he had remembered. As flashes of that night raced through his mind, a slow simmer instantly started streaming through in his body. Why was she here now? When he was in LA, Delco had said that she was taking a sabbatical because of some recent drama that occurred in her life, and although he never mentioned the nature of that drama, Cab hoped that Delco wasn’t referring to him. He continued to watch her, literally willing her to look his way. It must have worked because their eyes finally met. Her eyes widened as she looked at him, and Cab immediately signaled for her to see him later, but she shook her head no. He repeated the gesture, this time with a little more conviction, but once again, she refused.

  Seeing that Cab was distracted, Satch nudged him. "Who are you giving the evil eye to?" He whispered.

  Breaking eye contact for a second, Cab turned his head to address his brother. "That is none of your business!" He hissed, but when he turned his head back to continue his game of cat and mouse with Dana, she was gone.

  Cab cursed himself and Satch silently.

  As a very talented wedding singer stood facing the guest in the front of the chapel and began to sing a lovely rendition of Ribbon in the Sky, a flustered Dana fidgeted nervously in her seat. She had told Delco that she didn't want to go to this wedding, but since he was out of the country scouting an Italian basketball player who was supposed to be the best in the Italian league overseas, HWC wanted him. He not only insisted that she make an appearance in his stead, but brow beat her into it by saying that because she was the CFO and acting boss in his absence, business and social protocol demanded it. She gave in, although reluctantly, and attended with the hopes of getting lost in the large group of people invited.